Friends,
Would you argue with me if I said that we have become a culture of whiners? Leaders — and of course I use that word not to refer to a position, but to a frame of mind and action — leaders don’t whine. And our world needs us to lead.
Whining connotes powerlessness. And unfortunately it also sucks the energy out of others. Leading does not mean turning a blind eye to difficulties. Indeed, good leaders are brutally honest about the facts. But then, consciously or otherwise, when they see difficulties they choose one of two paths: acceptance, if the problems lie outside their influence, or action to stimulate change.
So, you might monitor your inner whiner this week! When some difficulty – a jerk, the weather, the copier, your Achilles tendon, your teenager – is stimulating you whine, take a breath, one deep breath, and ask yourself: will I lead? If you want to lead, then ask yourself: Act or accept?
So: Observe the whiner. Choose to lead. And ask yourself: Should I accept it or act?
To lead with your best self,
Dan
Name calling is related to whining, since a person can be called a whiner as a tactic. If the person on the other side of a debate can be called a whiner, or negative, or some other undesirable term, then they are put down. If we are to talk about whiners and whining, then we should be careful in calling someone a whiner. Whining has to do with behaving with the misguided, inappropriate attributes of a child. There are also good and much to be desired attributes of children. And so when we might so “from the mouths of babes,” then we are not talking about whining. A comment with some wisdom is not whining. A comment whose idea can make things better, rather than worse is not whining.