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Last week I wrote about one of the key lessons I am learning from The Sweet Spot by Dr. Christine Carter.
You’ll recall that the point of her book — subtitled How to Find Your Groove at Work and Home — is to help her readers to understand current brain research in order to work more effortlessly and to find “flow” in a regular way in their lives.
This week, it’s a Readers-take-over-week. I will give away 3 free copies of The Sweet Spot by randomly choosing from among the “Comments” I get from readers. (Usually I get about 5 comments a week, so you probably have a good chance to win.) Come back and see the ideas that our learning community shares.
Whether you submit a comment or not, here’s how to improve your leading week. Ask yourself: “What’s the most important thing I can do to get myself to ‘groove’ my life at work and home?” Or to put it another way, “What gets you in your sweet spot?”
Here’s one of the fairly frequent counter-intuitive thoughts from the book: Spend time doing nothing. Staring out the window, like you did as a kid in school when you needed a break from “Pay Attention,” as Sister Mary Elephant would call out (with nods to Cheech and Chong and apologies to the amazing nuns who taught me in elementary school). No purpose. Letting your mind wander. It turns out that the brain has a (seemingly!!!) non-active cycle. Yet it is in that “off” cycle that we are doing critical processing. Give it a spin.
What are the most important things you do to get in your zone, to be in your sweet spot, to produce more good stuff with less grinding of gears and super-high RPMs?
In your sweet spot, you’ll
Lead with your best self!
Dan
The most important thing I do to get in the groove at work (and home actually) is to use to do check lists. I set aside time on Monday morning to review my list and plan out my weekly schedule to accomplish as much as I can. I get daily mental pick me ups when I cross things off the list as completed.
I find to get in my “sweet spot” I have to do things that make be happy, whether it’s working out or doing a favorite hobby like beading. When I’m happy, I’m a much more productive person at home and at work.
I enjoy your writings…thank you!
Kind regards, Ann
Dan,
Really excited to read this book and share it with the company I work for, I think this is definitely something that can make us more productive as an organization!
Best,
Tim
I agree that some of our best thinking is when we have “down” time. I find myself thinking of things just before going to sleep or when I first wake up in the morning. Taking a break is also a must for me, I feel refreshed after taking a quick break with my friends at work.
I find that not thinking about work actually helps me come up with solutions to problems. For example, I was disappointed that my staff seemed to not be engaged with their goal setting process this year. I thought all week last week about how to try to motivate them. It wasn’t until Sunday late morning after doing all sorts of other activities with my family and letting my brain rest that I came up with the perfect solution. Overthinking can definitely work against you. The mind needs time to rest and work through problems and solutions on its own (in the background).
I feel my best and get the most done when I am well organized and well rested! There is nothing like waking up after a good sleep and having my work lunch prepped, my outfit selected, and the dishes done already the night before, to get me out the door and on my way to a productive day. Having a plan gets me in my sweet spot.
I feel it is critical to keep moving. So while “zoning out” is probably useful (I know I have always done it periodically!), I find getting up at least once/hour and going to get coffee, use the RR, or whatever makes a huge difference in being able to focus and keep productive.
To be in my sweet spot, I “X” out of my email. Yes, I hit the “X” at the top right corner and I don’t look at email during certain periods during the day. It was very difficult to do at first (I think I may be addicted to email!!!), but not having the distraction–or even the potential distraction–of email allows me to work in the zone and be more fully present in tacking whatever task is at hand.
I really like this idea, and it strikes me as very similar to what we do in meditation when we try to clear our mind of “the chatter.” It also reminds me of comments from the book “Imagine”, when it describes how our left and right brains work. Often, we need to give our logical mind a rest when it feels frustrated or overwhelmed so our intuitive and big picture part of the brain can take over and come up with new, imaginative ideas/solutions. This makes perfect sense to me – I often have my best thoughts when walking my dog early in the morning and just being in the present moment. Your comments today remind me that it is a good practice not only in the morning but at other times when we feel stressed or overwhelmed.
I find a quiet place to meditate or go take a walk and refresh my mind.
I look at beautiful gardens, landscapes or listen wholeheartedly to great music
Dan,
I get into my “Sweet Spot” by starting my day with a 2 mile walk. This gets my metabolism goiung first thing in the morning, gets the endorphins flowing and allows me to get some “thinking time” or “me time”. No cell ‘phone, no email. Just my thoughts for both family and work. This helps me seperate the two areas and sort of compartmentalize them. This is a great time to get some ideas percolating while getting some exercise. I feel very energized and focused after this walk and helps me jump start the day.
– Dan Burich, Colorado Springs, CO
In order to find my Sweet Spot I turn off the radio in the car.
I do a lot of driving for work, most of it on the highway. I find that turning off the radio gives me a quiet spot that is hard to find at home or in the office. Usually I begin by thinking about the appointment or meeting I am traveling to, reviewing the agenda in my head and thinking of the results I would like to see and how to best get there. Fairly quickly I get past the planning and find my mind wandering, sometimes thinking of ways to tackle a particularly difficult problem, but often considering mundane things…or nothing at all. I find that the time passes quickly and I have a much more organized approach to many issues after using that time of quiet in the car.
I also do the opposite and use the radio to quiet a mind that is too full of conflicting thoughts after a particularly difficult meeting or client interaction. Then I will turn on the radio, usually to NPR or talk radio, to lose myself in their dialog in order to get some distance from my own internal debates.
I am honestly in my sweet spot in the least active moments of the day, when my mind is a wandering mess of thoughts and I spend most of my energy reaching various parts of the mind. A lot of times I am thinking about the day and whether I had spread kindness to others. Other times I think (and often worry) about what other people think about me as a person, which can be positive or negative. When I have that freedom to think and daydream, which I typically avoid in class and work settings, I open my mind up and think creatively. As long as it is not a welcome distraction to the course of the day, this is my “sweet spot” and I actually feel super productive while technically doing nothing at that given moment.
Walk…no music except with I hear in nature.
I think a big key is to not give in to time wasters. It is too easy to waste time in front of a TV or needless searches of the internet, I need to be much more intentional about the things that I do. Rather than wasting time watching TV shows that I never intended to watch I could read a book, or take time to day dream.
I find that listening to music and looking at family pictures really gives me the motivation to get into the groove. It reminds me of all that I have to be thankful for and the blessing that I have in my life, which is easy to “forget” in the everyday grind.
The book sounds amazing. I like the idea of spending time doing nothing. It is during those moments I find I can accomplish the most. Thank you!
Dan:
Following your advice so this year has made a big difference; my resolutions have become instead goals that are posted in front of me everyday so that I keep my eyes on the prize and align my actions accordingly. And secondly, getting rid of excuses, creating an energizing routine for each day that yields energizing results.
Thank you for leading with your best self!
Hi Dan! As always, thanks for the thought-provoking ideas in your posts. Much like the counter-intuitive idea you mention from the book to schedule time to do nothing, I’ve also found scheduling time to exercise has the net-effect of creating more time. Easy to say, but not to do, right? So here’s how I got there…
I struggled with “taking time away” to exercise, until a good friend put it quiet bluntly: “There is no such thing as not having time to exercise. Everyone has time to exercise. It’s just a matter of whether you make it a priority or not.” In other words, I had no more excuses to whine about “not having time” to exercise anymore!
Still, I can’t say I was motivated to add yet another thing (exercise) to my to do-list. Lucky for me, I have another group of friends to thank for essentially daring me to try a triathlon. (A big step for someone who was never an athlete, and could barely swim!) Having such an audacious goal made exercise no longer a choice. Determined to participate with friends, finish, and not be last(!), exercise became a necessary part of my schedule.
And wow, no one could have ever made me believe the change it would make in my life. It still mind-boggling to me what a difference it makes. I feel better on the days I exercise, and that sense of accomplishment seems to carry over into getting more done in the rest of my day. Knowing that motivation to exercise is an on-going challenge, I keep setting more audacious triathlon goals to keep the “need” for exercise at the top of my list. From sprint distance, to olympic, and now aspiring to half-Iron, I’m grateful to have found this “sweet spot”.
I love to poke around the house doing only the fun things on my do-list.
Or returning to bed and listening to National Public Radio or reading a book.
I love it when life moves slowly so I can “waste time” but still get the fun activities accomplished.
As a school Principal, I get my groove from playing with kids. i love to wander around the building and just chat with kids. Doing nothing is also a great “time out”, but time with kids with no agenda helps me to remember why I chose this career.
I will give this a try. I stare at a computer screen all day doing design work, emailing and responding to email. I do pop up from my cubicle and check out the outside world occasionally, but I may linger a little longer now and try to clear my mind. I do look forward to Mondays when your email arrives. Thanks!!
Good morning!
Being present is my most sure way of finding my sweet spot, but easier said than done.
Giving full attention to whatever I am doing at work or home greatly improves the outcomes. Multi-tasking is a sure fire method to avoid the sweet spot by doing many things at once with little attention.
I would love to win a copy of the book, so I can learn more ways to find my sweet spot.
I spend an inordinate amount of time on the weekend getting ready for the next week e.g., dishes are all done, laundry, food prep for the week, grocery shopping, etc. Frontloading my work week with all the survival essential tasks takes some of the burden off my work week . Additionally, on the drive home from work I turn off all distractors, no radio, no news, no phone calls. The silence helps me process the day’s activities and resolve the issues in my mind. Then I have my action plan all worked out so that when I arrive home, I can concentrate on my home life. That’s what I do to get into my zone!
As a new “empty nester” I will be looking for ways to adopt “Il dolce far niente. or Il bel far niente”. Literally, “the sweet, or beautiful, (act of) doing nothing.” I look forward to time to write or garden or walk, letting the spur of the moment inspire me in the next chapter of my life.
Dan,
Always learning from your news letter. Hope you find your groove in 2015.
I find that the ‘groove’ changes depending on what needs to be accomplished – is this common? I may learn the answer in this book!
All the best,
Gary
I have found that taking the last few minutes while still at my desk to plan the next day in detail not only gets my morning off to a smooth start but helps remove “work clutter” from my thoughts in the evening.
My “spend time doing nothing” is on my drive home. This is usually were the ideas and thoughts come to me in rapid pace. I am not sure why. Maybe it is the melodic rhythm of the road that allows open space in my mind.
I find the best way to get in my sweet spot is to visualize the steps of whatever I am about to undertake, and imagine some reward at the end. This rehearsal gets me in gear and primed to perform. Sometimes I up the stakes by saying “I can get this done in [e.g.] five minutes” and setting a timer. The emphasis is not on picking a realistic interval nor completing the task within it, but rather having something that keeps me from needless distraction and adds a cadence to the pace of my work. This also makes my reward something I savor more, having imagined it longer and “earned” it through my visualization.
By the way I love Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi so I’m sure I will enjoy Dr. Carter’s work.
The key for me is variety. I need to get up and move around, sit at my desk alone with my computer, work collaboratively and independently. Anytime I spend time doing too much of one type of activity I lose my edge. It’s almost like the change in activities feeds me and gives me even more energy. Such a rush!
I listen to music. Depending on the style, it either calms me down or revs me up. I work better with a soundtrack.
I find I am better able to find that “sweet spot” when I give myself regular time to meditate. Sometimes that is listening to a directed meditation program on CD, which helps my brain practice concentration. Other times it is an open “free form” meditation in which I start by focusing on my breath, then see what thoughts of my own arise, noticing each of them, but returning after each thought to focus on my breath. By doing these types of meditation, I am better able to listen to (and follow up on) ideas that spring to mind during the average work day.
Finding the sweet spot is sometimes elusive, but I find that it often happens when I “swerve” a bit. In other words, I do something I normally wouldn’t do. This could be as simple as taking a different route to work, talking to a person I don’t usually converse with, or engaging in a new activity – chair yoga for example.
I think I read a good article about this a while back, but can’t remember who wrote it. Maybe it was in Reading for Leading!
The first few minutes upon waking in the morning, especially if I can wake up slow. At this time I have the most insight into problems and issues I struggled with the day before.
Hi Dan, This week I had the difficult task of putting together a eulogy for my big brother whom I had worked with for over 25 years. The task of doing him justice seemed overwhelming. I put off writing it down. Each day I talked to my family and friends about John and his life. The night before instead of staying up late and adding my exhaustion, I went to bed early. I woke up at six and with an hour I was able to put into words what had seemed previously impossible. This is actually a formula I have used in the past. First, I brainstorm with others and talk it through. Secondly, I outline a plan. Thirdly, I sleep on it and let my brain work through it and recharge. Finally I tackle the hardest task first thing in the morning. ( Normally I don’t procrastinate). In my job as a decision maker I often review night before, sleep and then tackle the tough decisions first. There are only so many decisions in me in a day. Even small ones can give most of us mental fatigue so putting the tough task firstafter resting works best for me. Muriel
I try to begin with the end in mind and work backward. I visualize what the end product would be, whether it’s a project at work or a task at home. Then I work backward in my mind, laying out the steps that need to be taken to complete the project or task. Sometimes that takes staring out the window for a minute to figure out the steps and be sure I have all the information and/or tools I need to complete the task or project. Then I’m ready to begin — with the goal firmly in mind and the steps required to get there.
I imagine myself explaining the issue to a person I am comfortable with.
There are a couple of things that I find help get my groove back:
– Have things at home in order. I find when the home is cluttered, that cluttered overwhelming feeling follows me to work.
– I destress using music. I love music! Often the only times I have to talk to people is in the car driving home. I fight that urge hard when there isn’t a pressing need to talk to someone and instead I turn up the music. It feels so good and really helps to calm my mind after a long hard day.
– Definitely exercise helps as well. It is tough to fit it in, but even if it’s a few yoga moves, it helps stretch the body and calm the mind.
2014 was an incredibly difficult year for me, and as a result I did not get my usual time away to “spend time doing nothing”. By the end of the year, I was definitely not working in my sweet spot and having issues in every area of my life. Last week, I finally took 5 days to get away and do nothing. It takes some time to get comfortable doing nothing, because you keep thinking of all the things you think you should be doing, but the payoff is big when you stay the course. After the first 2 days, I was able to enjoy doing nothing. When I came back home, I had clarity and a new perspective.
Hi Dan
I am sure you are enjoying California weather right now versus our beautiful State of Michigan’s cold. Throughout my career, I have received a lot of feedback asking how I accomplish so much at work and in my personal life. I would have to say that reading Eckart Tolle’s book called Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, A New Earth was life changing for me. My journey changed to one mostly without ego including collective ego, practicing being present and not listening to my pain body. I practice yoga which is very mind clearing. Also, whenever the circumstances are overwhelming, I stop, clear my mind, find a picture or scene that makes me smile and then refocus. I also do the complete shift from work to personal every evening. These practices keep me present most of the time.
Every baseball player or basketball player has a method to prepare themselves to be in the sweet spot, a way to get in the groove. Many use preparation, routine, muscle memory to try and get into this groove. Most defenses or pitchers want to bump them off their game, disrupt their routine.
So with life we all have a schedule in life we eat, shower brush out teeth, have our coffee/tea, etc… Many include meditation or inspirational reading material as part of their daily routine. Many days this works fine we knock out our normal work routine effectively/efficiently. What knocks us off is not defense or an opposing pitcher but daily life. The kid(s) don’t sleep and therefore neither do we, the roads are icy and we have a few near misses as we make it to work late. Maybe it’s bigger- marital problems, unemployment, the death of a loved one. We no longer feel like we are swinging through the ball, or that the basketball is going through with ‘nothing but net’.
Many will say at this point, “Go back to the basics.” Good advice! Eat well, establish a good sleep routine and include exercise as part of our day. Reevaluate how we approach work or family life. Stop just putting out fires and work toward future success as well. Plan, think long range, step away (or out of the batter’s box) and refocus. When we are most frustrated a short walk can be a wonderful method to relieve frustration that is building.
Hi Dan. Way back in December of 2013 I wrote, and posted to our blog, an article on a model that we use in our consulting that we call the Victim/Warrior Model. Shortly after that I ran across an article you wrote called “What to do when an important partnership is getting worse”, where you reference the book, “The Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt. Your post and that reference reinforced my article beautifully so I re-posted your article on our site. I’m not sure what led me down this trail again recently but, over a year later, I finally ordered the book and watched a few TED Talks by the author. So somehow the whole notion of happiness and being successful and effective in life is back in the forefront of my thinking. A strong connection between happiness and work life… who knew? 🙂 Now that concept seems to be coming up every where I look, and that’s a good thing! Thanks for the reminder! And what a great way to generate comments :-).
Jim Jensen
The most important thing I do to get myself in the groove is to keep a regular bedtime and eat healthy meals. The next important thing is to be careful to not overschedule or overcommit my time. Overcommitting results in inability to meet any goal/task, increasing frustration and resulting in less output. I look forward to reading The Sweet Spot. Thanks, Dan, for your book suggestions and summaries.
I have a distinct process that I use. First, I get a fresh cup of coffee (I never actually drink the coffee, but the smell is invigorating to me). Next, I remove everything from my work area to avoid unnecessary visual distractions. Finally, I just start typing my initial thoughts on the project/report/memorandum. My perfectionist tendencies then kick in and I start grinding out a finished product.
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Roy Disney
Being clear on the intangible elements of one’s identity can build a strong foundation for greater self-awareness, purpose, well-being and building competencies in those areas that are important to you and the other people involved.
Here are intangible “identity elements” defined:
*Assumptions/beliefs: A reality map formed through your collective reinforced experience. This would be a manifesto of the mental models you use and believe in to create your work and personal lives.
*Values/Aspirations: An attitude or world-view depicted by one word or one single concept observed through one’s behavior. Values often influence people’s choices about where to invest their energies. Please recognize that values change over time. Being “fair” means something different for a person at 44 than at 4 years old.
*Vision: A word picture of the future leading from now through near to far reality. You energize people to support your purpose or life signature with an overarching description of what you see.
*Guiding Principles: A universal operating standard that guides decision-making both personally and organizationally. Use guiding principles to align, create trust and walk the talk by putting everybody on the same playing field. Energy isn’t wasted in the politics of the team, organization or community because there aren’t different rules for everybody.
When I face a challenge, I take a moment to remind myself that others have endured much bigger challenges and chose to get through them being the best version of themselves. Somehow that reassures me and gives me the mindset of “No big deal.” Takes some of the fear out of the challenge. And let’s face it, the sweet spot can get derailed by fear.
Hello, Dan:
Nice idea to increase comments and get some discussion going! I love to walk, at least as much as my body and the weather permit. During longer adventures tottering about my territory, I nearly always find a special time (sweet spot?) when the rhythm of the walk, the fresh air, and the deeper breathing set my mind free to just enjoy the moment…to simply be. There were days I wished that feeling would never stop. When focused back on tasks again, my mind was sharper and concepts/ideas flowed freely.
I also find that, when overwhelmed by challenges, I can simply close my eyes and “zone out” for a few moments, allowing the weight of problems to slide off my shoulders as though I was shaking off a ponderously heavy coat, and just feel the freedom and lightness of being. I deliberately zone several times every hour, because I find it reduces unscheduled wandering and the resulting mistakes. It helps me stay “in the moment.”
Hi Dan,
I saw you speak live a little while ago in Irvine. I thought your ideas were very helpful and when I read your emails I always find something to take away from them.
Thank you for your insight.
Danielle
Dan, Thank you for bringing this book to our attention and for inspiring us to share our own “groove” finding practices! I find that what you and a few others have already described are my favorite practices for finding my own sweet spot:
* a few minutes of “mindful movement” right after rolling out of bed, before I allow myself to get distracted
* getting my body moving in a bigger way, listening to music at the gym or the birds singing when I get out for a morning neighborhood walk
* starting with why, to use Simon Sinek’s phrase– remembering my own “why” and the bigger purpose to which I seek to contribute today!
Thanks for asking!
To help myself stay in the sweet spot, I try to take care of myself outside of work. I try to eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep. I try to keep my home life at home and my work life at work. Keeping those boundaries helps me manage each side, giving my attention and commitment to the challenges currently in front of me. If I can take care of all my home business at home, and be ready for my day, I can be fully engaged when I am at work, giving it my all. Likewise, as I leave the office, I can begin focusing on my home needs. Balance is key. Ensuring I give time and attention to all needs and not get out of kilter.