Leaders Clear the Air – second in a series

Last week I wrote about the need each of us has from time to time to clear the air, to get something off our chest that is creating stress for us, and likely diminishing trust, enthusiasm and collaboration for work with a key colleague – or friend or family member. In that first blog, I … Continued

Be Careful How You Characterize

Authors create characters. Back in 1982, when I was entirely smitten with the work of novelist Walker Percy, I wrote him a letter to tell him that his writing was so good that I felt his characters were more real than people I met in my life.  (If you enjoy character novels, try Percy’s Love in … Continued

How to Manage Conflict with the Powerful and Entrenched

www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7MVDhBV6sg”>extraordinary

Thanks for the wonderful feedback on my just-completed 3-part series on how to constructively engage when there is CONFLICT.  I got wonderful push back, too.  Some argued against the usefulness of my prescriptions in important cases.  For example, my deliberate, humble and honest approach to engaging conflict seemed to these readers to be of questionable … Continued

Curbing the Curse of Conflict – Part Two

This is part 2 of 3 in thinking about one of – if not the greatest energy-sucks in organizational and family life:  Conflict. Last week, I suggested a three-part foundation (if you missed last week’s RFL, the three parts are described in a little more detail at the end of this): Last week’s lessons: 1: … Continued

How You Can Get a Handle on the Costly Curse of Conflict

We were seven kids in a pretty healthy family.  Seven kids in a 3-bedroom ranch. Oh, and seven 7 kids in our one Ford Country Squire. Picture the 9 of us, sardine chldren: We were a daily and nightly laboratory of conflict. My memory is that there was crying on pretty much a daily basis. Like … Continued

Gaining Leverage With Challenging “Allies”

Although we battle with some adversaries, e.g., Obama v. Assad; most of our difficulties – truth be told are with allies, those in our tent: Boehner with the Tea Party, mom with dad, CEO with COO, boss with worker. We forget that we’re on the same “team,” because it sure doesn’t feel that way.  So, … Continued

What Men Say, What Women Hear

Special 12th Anniversary Guest Column By Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster We recently appeared on a late-night television show to promote our new book, Mean Girls at Work.  Our hosts, two male comedians, were very surprised to learn that women react to teasing, sparring and criticism very differently from men.  “When you insult or yell at one of … Continued

Previously on “Everyday Leadership”: Working through Conflicts

Previously on “Everyday Leadership” Dan talked about conflict and resolution at home, work and play. Solving problems seems easy enough, but what about when people aren’t willing to budge? Professor of Public Policy at Harvard University Iris Bohnet was on to talk with Dan about her role with the Program on Negotiation. Founded in 1983, … Continued

Getting Hooked– And Off The Hook

Friends, Ever find yourself getting “hooked?”  I’m not talking hockey. And I’m not talking the oldest profession on earth. I’m talking about when someone has a way of sending your blood pressure through the roof, and of “making you” do things you don’t want to do, say things you don’t want to say, and … Continued