Share your thoughts!

Dear Friends,

There will be no “Reading for Leading” from me today. I encourage you, however, to hit the Comments button below should you wish to share any succinct thoughts you have that might help other readers to . . .

Lead with your best self!

Dan

16 responses to “Share your thoughts!

  1. While shopping at the grocery store this weekend, I passed the packages of Kraft Singles. It reminded me of a specific co-worker.

    Oh, you said ‘succinct’ thoughts – I thought you said ‘random.’ Never mind.

  2. For an exceptional example of leadership watch the movie 42. Jackie Robinson chooses a hard road for the greater good. He keeps his cool under the most extreme abuse. He focuses on mastering the skills he needs to do the job and does not let others distract him. He stands tall and is a gentleman when surrounded by outrageous behavior from others.. Owner of the Dodgers, Branch Rickey chooses making the right decision (not necessarily the popular or easy one) by signing Jackie Robinson. He foresees obstacles and prepares Jackie Robinson on how to navigate them. He knows when to hold back and let Jackie hold is own. He also knows when Jackie needs encouragement and even a hug. This is a must see movie.

  3. For eight years I have been the webmaster for my church’s website. I took on the challenge without having any knowledge or experience but I took the risk because nobody else wanted. Since then I have taken some classes and dedicated a lot of sleep time to it. I like doing it, I enjoy it. But too often, during board meetings the issue of the web site comes up and some people express their dislikes (mostly design, color selection, location, etc.) I always take suggestions and even do changes that later are criticized, etc It is like I’ve been doing this for eight years while they find somebody better, I’m like the last resort, so this past weekend we had another meeting and one new member started calling out all the “marketing mistakes” on the web site, because his son is a professional and told him, but at the same time his son is too expensive for us to hire him…..So I told the group a little piece of history on how I got to do that for free all these years but that I recognized that I’m not a professional so I would stop doing it so they could let somebody else to do it. All board members, including the new one said “No” that’s not what we want, you’re doing a great job, none of us knows even how to start doing what you do, we were only commenting ideas, nothing against your work. I sat down and stayed quiet the rest of the meeting. Is it my pride getting on the way? I don’t do it for the Board, I do it for the parishioners and people that I don’t know and need information. Is it some kind of martyrdom for me to keep listening how they bash my work….in front of me, or behind my back? I guess my comment would be tittle How to deal with “ungratefulness” in your volunteer work. Thanks Dan for this space to communicate.

    1. Luis,
      What a great post. May I share my thoughts?
      First, INSIDE leadership. Daniel Goleman in his work on Emotional Intelligence talks about two important skills: Self awareness and self regulation. You are showing AMAZING self awareness, as you recognize that your mind seems to be inhabited by multiple characters — as ALL of our minds are. So, you’ve let us see an idealist who contributes generously, a suffering servant who sometimes feels bitter and taken advantage of, a learner who takes criticism and builds on it, a fearless one who took on a project knowing little about it, and a martyr who puts up with abuse. What if you sat down as a facilitator, a good leader of this rag tag inner group and just let them all have their say? Maybe write it like a journal. Let each have his voice, let each be heard. If you had to ask them two questions, they would be: (1) Is there more?, and (2) So, what do you want Luis to pay attention to or do.
      I SUSPECT that this will help harmonize your inner self, and lighten and free you to make the choices you want to make.
      OUTER leadership. I think it’s great that you explained your situation to them. They got a major reality adjustment, which they needed (unless they wanted to lose you, which clearly they don’t). In the future, you might stand up for yourself sooner — for you are an important resource to the church’s work. Let them know that you’re just about saturated by the outpourings of criticism and suggestions. And also give the work back to them! Ask them how they can help get the work done — whether that’s on the website or in the larger areas of marketing. (I think your inner martyr as well as your inner creative and your inner worker will be much happier and much more productive. And maybe one day they will replace you, when it’s time for all to move on.)
      Them’s my thoughts.
      Keep leading with your best self!
      Dan

    2. Luis and Dan:

      This is intended to be a comment, not advice. It is easier to offer advice and easy to sound critical, even if you don’t mean to be, and sometimes people may mean to be critical, and much more difficult to build or create something. The something created, by a creative and imaginative person, in this case a web site, gives others something to react to. Some people are better at reacting than creating, it takes a lot less effort. Some comments can be helpful and make the product better, and sometimes people have differing opinions, which keeps the ball going. Of course how the message is delivered can shade any comment.

      I will share a story about a carpenter in the old country, (any old country) who did terrific carvings and the furniture he created was much in demand. One day a nobleman came by to check on how some things he had ordered for his home was going, and found the carpenter carving under a table on the inside of the side, he looked and saw it was a beautiful and intricate carving. The nobleman criticized, what are you doing there, no one looks there, why no one will even know that it’s there. To which the wood carver replied shaking his head. That’s not true, I’ll know its there.

      Your statement about who you were doing the work for, has its own value, you are wise to see that. And yep, as Dan says, we are always some of the players and sometimes we get to be all of the players in the story. Its just easier to see when your outside of the story, than when your invested in it.

      Mike

  4. Every Monday be ready for a great day. Really love Mondays. You will be a mystery to your co-workers, friends, families. I love Mondays – it is my favorite day of the Week. Great things happen. Energy is at its highest level of any workday. Yeah!

  5. In the past 1 1/2 months my family has mourn the loss of two family members that died unexpectantly. My sister of a massive heart attach at work. A brother-in-law – a different sister’s husband – died a few hours after going to Henry Ford clinic because he was not feeling well and just wanted to be checked out. Life is short, as believers in God and Jesus Chirst my family finds comfort in knowing that through God’s grace and mercy we will see our love ones again for it is written and God has promised. ..”For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.” 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
    My heart has always hurt for those who have lost a love one, but these two deaths so close together and unexpectantly “in my own circle” close family has made me realize even more how fragile our lives are and how each day we should be grateful and thankful for every person in our lives. Life is short; make the most of it. Build a relationship with Christ.

  6. I enjoyed all the comments above. This weeks LFR makes me think of Taoism: The greatest leader does not lead.

  7. Sometimes you have to stick with the experts…..

    “Be who you are, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”
    Dr. Seuss

  8. I like to quote this for encouragment and positivity: “Nothing is as hard as it looks; everything is more rewarding than you expect; and if anything can go right it will, and at the best possible moment!” (John C. Maxwell)

  9. With the rest of the country, I have been grieving the death and destruction we experienced here in Boston yesterday on what was otherwise a perfect Marathon Monday. The pictures and footage of the detonations and carnage do not convey the full horror of dozens of instantaneous amputations among a cheering crowd of onlookers, well-wishers, and friends and families of the runners.

    My full post is at http://acousticpickers.blogspot.com/2013/04/boston-marathon-bombing.html

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